A crazy thing happened as I was leaving for work this afternoon. As I backed out of the garage and turned, I heard a scraping sound. After uttering a choice expletive, I got out of the car and looked at the damage. The front grill of my car had partially fallen off. Part of it was on the ground while the other part had fallen off. Instantly, I was cursing myself. My job is only 5 minutes away so I usually give myself 15 minutes. Time was ticking. I looked back into the garage and what would my eyes see? A dead bird!
I dialed my husband and tried to explain what happened. “I guess I it the car…?” I muttered. Thankfully, he was on his way home and could take me to work. I called work to alert them to my lateness, “I’ll be late because I think I hit a bird.” Really, though I wasn’t sure what had happened.
My husband pulled into the driveway and assessed the damage. There was nothing to be done at that point. I got in the truck and he drove me to work. (I wasn’t late) I apologized, still a little clueless. We discussed what happened. After I calmed down, we gathered that I hadn’t hit anything. My grill fell off of its own accord. There were no scrapes on the car or paint marks on the garage. I started to feel better.
I’ve been in two accidents in the car through no fault of my own. Once I was broadsided and the other time I was rear ended. We surmised that the grill fell from wear and tear. When my husband picked me up from work later, the car was back to normal. He’d put the grill back in its place. Yay! for hubby. He fixed our washer when it broke a couple of weeks ago and now the car. Whew! I joked with a coworker that the dead bird and the freaky grill falling had a voodoo feeling to it. I guess the bird had been there, trapped in my grill for…I don’t know how long.
I really must stop being so hard on myself. I instantly accepted the blame even though I did nothing. This will be the take away from my grill dropping experience: Be more gentle to thyself.
I catapulted myself head long into official job search mode this weekend. Ideally, I want to obtain another part time job until the obligatory six month window elapses before I can apply for a full time job at the public library. I enjoy working there, but my current level of compensation doesn’t adequately help the ends to meet.
After shedding silent tears and engaging in the customary self-recriminations about the current state of my vocational life, I headed on over to that website that specializes in foundation, association, and other public service jobs. I applied for a couple of association management positions. I know that area well: membership driven, annual meetings, committee meetings, board run… I lived and breathed it for seven years. The question is, “Will my resume receive any nibbles?”
Sidebar: Applying for jobs online is an exercise in futility. The applicant is asked to supply a mountain of information and documents which, in all likelihood, won’t be viewed only stored on some server for who knows how long. Nine times out of ten the hiring manager only posts the position to follow company protocol. They have an idea who they want to interview–either the friend of a friend or some promotion or lateral transfer within. But holding out hope, I jumped into the pool.
In keeping with my initial focus–getting a full time job at the public library–I ventured out today to apply for a part time job at a local grocery store. The idea here is to keep my part time library job, add another part time job, and apply later for a full time library job after the obligatory 6 month window coming up in late December. This local grocery store required that I come in the store to complete an application at their Job Application Center. I applied for baker trainee, cake decorator trainee, floral, produce, and stocking. I don’t care to do cashiering. Perhaps, if I get one of the other jobs, I can learn a skill. My husband laughed at this notion since I have three degrees under my belt. He has an eternity’s worth of faith in my abilities to do anything whereas, I have significantly less than that based on where I sit now. But I am thankful for the balance he brings to my self-esteem/confidence.
We shall see what transpires…
Course Correction 3975
by Myesha D. Jenkins ©
How do you know
when the course is
Buckets of tears
Absence of means
No ding ding dings?
Regardless of the signs
or lack thereof
When it sits in your gut
When it plops you in a rut.
You pay the bills.
You kiss the cheek.
You turn the page.
You walk the dog.
You do not cease.
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Matthew 5:5
I was chatting with a friend about her decision to quit a temporary job at a call center. Her spirit couldn’t take the monitoring and other policies that would, in effect, force her to be an automaton. As is our custom, we began dishing about life and the lessons we have learned about honoring our truth and being patient with ourselves.
I was able to make a connection between the topic of my morning devotional and my own challenges. Sometimes I whip myself up into a frenzy about things. I begin to will things in my life instead of being still. As Mary Lou Redding writes, “Wisdom distinguishes between times to take action and times to restrain ourselves in using the powers at our disposal.” Herein lies the challenge for me: when to act or will things and when to restrain from doing so. I like to make things happen. I am am worker. The best advice I can give myself is:
“Take several seats, Myesha.”
Yes, I need to take several seats at times and sometimes in the corner. My friend and I laughed about this meme. “Show me where the ‘Several Seats’ section is please!”
When I tell myself to take several seats, I am encouraging myself to be meek, to give my power over to God who will give me my inheritance, to subdue my frenzied power under her submission.
Blessed are those who take several seats…
I am happily back in my sandbox. This sandbox is the place where my imagination took flight almost two years ago when I began writing Scandal fanfiction with the moniker, Butterflypages. Before I stopped, I had written over 9 stories and one for Sleepy Hollow. I took them all down to the consternation of my small cadre of readers. Alas, after a couple of months, I have decided to go back to what I love, writing fanfiction. It is my plan to slowly put the stories back up after rereading and making changes as I am moved to do so. I also started one new story, “Not Quite Serendipity”. Here is the line up thus far. It is going to take a while to reread all nine, but I am looking forward to it:
Not Quite Serendipity
Olivia and Fitz were almost high school sweethearts. When an unfortunate accident brings them back together, will they find love?
Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones
Life comes in dribs and drabs for Rev. Oliva Pope. Her faith is wavering but her dedication to her job on the ministerial staff of Grace Tabernacle Christian Church is steadfast. When Grace Church launches a search for a new Senior Pastor and selects Rev. Fitzgerald Grant, Olivia has to learn how to navigate the slippery slope of a forbidden attraction.
The Ultimate Heist
Olivia Pope is my name. Stealing art is my game, at least until this last heist is over. I shall retire after 10 years and a record of never getting caught. All will be well when FBI Agent, Fitzgerald Grant, gets off my trail. Or is this the biggest heist of all?
It feels good to be back among of a community of readers who enjoy my stories.