Now Hiring Confidence: Apply Within
The closer I get to my publication date the more I realize the tremendous confidence it takes to publish. I must qualify and personalize. It takes confidence (and support) to quit ones job and strike out to write for money. You harness words to create some reality and hope readers will enter your manufactured reality. No. You want readers to pay money to enter that manufactured reality.
I am either an ambitious person; or rather, I am an impulsive person who strikes out without weighing the pros and cons. Maybe I am a mixture of both–one part ambition and one part impulsivity. Mix. Let stand and serve chilled. I’m not having doubts, but I am anxious. In the face of my anxiety, I do have faith that I will achieve success. It’s just that in the crowded cocktail of my social media outlets it seems like everyone is doing it all. Where is the angst? I need to see the angst. Sometimes I have to disconnect because I begin to compare my beginning to someone else’s middle. I develop a big case of the “angstiety.” Can my anxiety faith get me through?
When I start to feel my confidence draining from my ear, I go inward in search of it. “Myesha,” I say, “Girl, you have stories to tell. Just write them and the readers will come–maybe not in droves but in trickles. If my book causes one person to stay up all night to get to the end, I will have achieved success (hopefully they bought it…tee hee).
Daily, I need to look within for that confidence and add it to my recipe. For all you writers out there like me, here is a dash of fellow feeling. I am pulling for you. Be confident. Be ambitious. Be impulsive.
My definition of angstiety: 1. persistent worry and recurring thoughts dread, usually unfounded and manufactured because you can’t control all the variables that affect a given outcome. 2. Fear or worry that you will be left behind in everyone else’s fabulousness.